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Submissive’s may withdraw their consent at any time. Christian not only ignored Anna’s safe word in one scene but he expressed anger at her need to hold her own boundaries. When a submissive or Dominant says “Red” it means HARD STOP. Of course any words can be chosen and agreed upon. They allow the “submissive” to communicate with the Dominate in a very direct way. In healthy, safe, sane and consensual Bd/Sm “Safe Words” are holy. There is nothing more shunned in Bd/Sm Community than forcing or manipulating consent except perhaps a violation of ignoring “Safe Words” and Christian does that too. Consent is a big deal in the Bd/Sm community and Christian never took the workshop!
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An experienced ethical Dominant in the Bd/Sm scene would never force consent unless that was a game that the partners were playing called “Consensual Non Consent” when the players consent to “being forced”. In a healthy Bd/Sm relationship consent is either given out of a place of safety and desire or not. When we manipulate what we desire by pushing on the fear of loss or making it about “if you really cared about me….you would do this or that” we are forcing consent. That is not true consent and there is no room for negotiation. There is nothing ethical about drawing consent out of someone that is not sober.Ĭhristian gains consent out of Anna by playing on her fear of losing him when he presents her with a contract that she either has to sign or get out of his life. In one scene Christian uses alcohol to gain consent out of Anna. And while the book may be a sexy read (it’s fiction!), we really don’t want to have this as our template for hot sexy delicious consensual Bd/Sm sexual encounters and relationships.Ĭhristian consistently forces and manipulates consent out of the innocent, young, virginal Anna. Those are the tools of Christian’s Grey Bd/Sm tool box. So what’s wrong with Fifty Shades of Grey? It’s all about the constant manipulation of consent, violating boundaries, manipulation and fear.